Can I afford to send him to the school of his dreams?

It’s critical to have an open discussion with your student about the family financial picture that includes a clear explanation of what you are willing and

able to pay toward his education.

Often, our kids seem to believe in the proverbial money tree in the backyard. As adults, we know this is an unrealistic view. It’s also important to explain that parental assets have to go much further than the education of one child.

Take a holistic approach to financial planning. This means that your retirement is just as important as the college educations of your children. No one child, regardless of accomplishments, should take precedence over the future
well-being of either his parents or the other children in the family.

Once your student understands what your limits are, he can then begin to mentally plan for the possibility that he may not be able to attend his dream school, and approach the college planning process more realistically. He can
still apply to the dream college, but it does leave the door open to other, more financially viable options.

Affordable Fit

In my practice, I find that when families follow these suggestions, their students tend to be much more open to colleges that are both affordable and a good fit. It can also encourage students to be more proactive in looking for scholarship

money, or make them work a little bit harder to try to attain the grades that make a more prestigious college possible.

Being realistic can also take some of the pressure off the student to go trophy hunting, rather than finding colleges that provide a good match and fit for him.

What exactly are match and fit?

Match refers to your student’s numbers and how they compare to the middle 50 percent of accepted students at the college you’re considering. If your student’s unweighted GPA and test scores fall in that range, then the college is a potential match for your student.
A = 4.0, B = 3.0, C = 2.0, D = 1.0, F = 0

Subject                                              9th Grade 10th Grade 11th Grade
English                                               B = 3.0      A- = 3.7        B+ = 3.3
Math                                                   A = 4.0     C+ = 2.3        B- = 2.7
Science                                               A = 4.0     B+ = 3.3        A- = 3.7
Social Studies                                    B+ = 3.3   A- = 3.7          A = 4.0
Foreign Language                              C+ = 2.3    D = 1.0
TOTAL                                                      16.6         14.0            13.7

Add up the results and divide by the number of courses.

44.3 ÷ 14 = 3.16 GPA (unweighted).

 Most colleges will recalculate the high school GPA to a basic unweighted 4.0 scale based only on the core subjects. To do that, you pull out the grades for English, Math, Science, Social Studies and Foreign Language,

Looking at your student’s grades from the viewpoints of the admission office can guide you in your class choices. And be sure to avoid declining GPA’s – colleges look unfavorably at downward grade trends. It’s important that your student’s grades remain above a B in all subjects if at all possible.

Fit on the other hand, refers to the social and academic aspects of the college.
• Does he feel comfortable on campus?
• Are there students there with whom he can connect?
• Does the school offer the academic environment and extracurricular options that he is looking for?

Will my daughter find a job in her field after graduation?

Note:  This is the second in a 4-Part Series about "Face Down Your Top Four College Fears & Help Your Student Succeed!"

This question requires a bit of a crystal ball and depends on a number of factors.

A primary factor is how diligently did your student look for a job both while in college and after graduation? Getting your résumé read can be challenging and dependent on factors out of the control of the applicant. But your student can enhance her chances of getting that all-important interview by:

• Seeking out and taking advantage of internship opportunities

during her college years

• Finding chances to shadow someone in the career she is seeking

• Doing informational interviews with professionals in her desired field

• Taking advantage of the college career center to keep her résumé up to date and ensure it contains the elements that will attract prospective employers

Some colleges require students to present an up-to-date résumé to professors at the beginning of every course they take. This forces students to learn the constructs of a résumé, to go through it with a career professional and
to keep it current by adding each honor, job and enhanced skill as these are acquired. If your student has not done this, feel free to call us for help.

Watch for Red Flags Along the Way

What if you don’t see your daughter progressing toward a career while she is in high school and college? First, try to determine what is keeping her from doing the things she needs to do to become independent and employable.

And try to avoid some of the well-meaning roadblocks I see parents putting in the paths of their student:

• Is she afraid of her looming independence?
• Is she concerned that she cannot make it on her own?
• Has she been given the opportunities to both succeed and to fail, or have you protected her from this?
• When you speak with her, is your focus on her intellectual growth or on her social growth?
• Is she subliminally receiving messages that your goals for her are different than those for her brother?
• Does she know how to keep a budget or do you pitch in when she runs short?

Foster responsibility by helping your high school student plan her budget, and making your financial expectations clear before your student leaves for college.

Tell her exactly how much spending money you are willing to put into
her account each semester and what you expect her to do if she overdraws that amount.  The goal, of course, is not to enable the behavior by adding more money to the account, but to expect that she will do something to earn money to offset the overdraw. There will be no advance on next semester’s deposit.

One of my students could not understand why she was not free to park in front of her residence hall even though it was clearly posted as a no parking zone. Soon after she brought her car to campus in her sophomore year, her parents began to see $10 parking tickets added to the quarterly tuition bill. After warning her of the consequence, rather than pay these fees for her, they opted to take the fee out of her next allotment.

She was incensed until she was willing to accept that the rules applied to her as well as to everyone else on campus and that she could not change them because she didn’t agree.

These are life lessons that responsible adults have to learn; without consequences, there is no growth!

Watch for Part 3 - Can I Afford to send Him to the School of His Dreams?  Our answer may surprise you!